Kanye is subject to a rigorous intervention from his friendsįair to say Kanye’s interruption in 2009 was “very cognac-inspired” and, in a just and right world, his mates (does Kanye have mates? Someone check please) (Just thinking about how exhausting it would be to be Kanye’s mate.

Thank the dark and mysterious ancient powers that bore you on to this earth, and not the one that had that. That said: say the Kanye Interruption worked as intended, and the best video award was handed out to Beyoncé on the night … how would that spin her particular ensuing career axis? Maybe she would have stuck to the Sasha Fierce alter ego, running it into the ground in an effort to further cement that MTV endorsement, zigging away from the artistic groundwork of 4 that led to the darker, stormier Drunk in Love era, and instead she just kept turning up to red-carpet parties with that Single Ladies robot glove on, glimmering in the background of paparazzi shots as other MTV VMA 2009 era celebrities – like 3OH!3, maybe, remember them? – become Beyoncé-famous instead.

Hardest one to justify, this: something about Beyoncé, her sheer Beyoncéness, suggests that, on every alt-timeline, she is still Beyoncé Beyoncé cannot escape her destiné, Beyoncé is Beyoncé in every simulation run of the planet, the only constant, more enduring than the sun.

Beyonce single ladies live vma 2009